He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
