That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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