Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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