Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
