You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
