but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
