At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
