Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
