just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
