Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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