The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
