smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
