i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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