proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize