Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
