I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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