My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
