No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
