he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just had sex on a roof
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
