That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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