Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
