I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
