Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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