I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
