I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They took my balls.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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