If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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