The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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