never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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