Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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