i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
foreskin is a definite game changer
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
