Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
