It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
