He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
