Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pants are for mortals
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
