I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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