I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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