JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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