Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
