what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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