She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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