his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
