You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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