my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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