From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
