oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
