I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
