what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
