oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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