i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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