sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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