After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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