Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
