I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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