We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
